Operation: What the Heck is wrong With Me?

This past week I went to 2 different doctors.  Trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with me, ya know.  

And both times they don't have much of anything to say.  At all, really.

Heck, my head is dried out and I flake so bad with dandruff that it embarasses the daylights out of me when someone notices and decides to dust my shoulders off.  For years this has been happening.  So what do I do?

Go see a dermatologist for the first time ever.  

What does she tell me?  Some big name otherwise known as 'extreme dandruff'. 

Gratefully she gives me a script for a shampoo and acne cream that has to be prescribed by a doctor. Yet, my pharmacy doesn't have any in stock...so here I am. Waiting to get it again. Ok.

Then Friday, I 'self referred' myself to see an endocronologist.  Question:  Why is it that staff at a doc office looks at you funny when you tell them that you weren't referred by another doctor?  I mean, I want to get to the bottom of my issues-so why would I go to my family doctor who keeps telling me that I'm fine?  

Yeah.  

Anyway...so I see the endocronologist with hopes that she can help me understand why I'm losing so much hair, why I've gained a sh*t ton of weight and why I can sleep walk at any point of the day... I get this asinine answer.

She could barely speak English and she tells me that I'm going to struggle with my weight for the rest of my life.  And I should really consider bariatric surgery if I don't want to deal with this pressure.

REALLY?!?!?  She's totally kidding with me right? 

Why on Earth would some broad tell me that.  

I said to her 'don't they gain it all back?' and her response was 'well-those that get the reversible surgeries but not the permanent ones.'

Then she tells me to try Alli but be careful because if I fart I'm going to sh*t on myself.  

REALLY?!?!?!?!  

Here I am, on this QUEST to get healthier and avoid pills, potions & lotions to feel better - sleep - be thinner...you know.  BE NORMAL.  And I'm told that I need surgery and take pills. 

WTF IS WRONG WITH OUR HEALTH SYSTEM?!?!

Seriously.

Maybe I need to hit up my Spirit Recovery crew again and see a Shaman to feel better.  Ugh.

Off to eat a bowl of icecream and cinnamon rolls. - Self medication is better than the ones prescribed by doctors ya know.