Tearful Sunday

Today actually was a pretty good day.

Till Skyping with my family tonite.  

My dad.  

He's getting so old.

So out of shape.  Can barely walk.  Overweight.

As I was hanging up the skype...

I started crying.  Hard.

To the point of having to walk away from my kid.

I've lived away from them since I graduated high school.  

I miss them so much.

I just wish I could hop in the car and spend the day with them on a Sunday.

Or a day where I feel like my world is crumbling.  

When I just want to be near them.  Close.  See their eyes light up when they see my child.  Or watch them hug him tight when he tells them something funny.  Or when I need unconditional love...the kind my parents give me.

I can't.

And I hate it.

Because the days are numbered.

And the moments are limited.

I never wanted to move here.  I didn't. 

I did this for my husband.  

In fact...when I moved to Chicago-I thought I was DONE.  No more moving.  I was done.  

At that point I was a 5 hour car drive or a cheap one hour flight to see them.

That wasn't 'right next door'...but it was a perfect location.

Now?  It's an insane hastle to get to their house.

Not to mention a big pricetag attached.

Ok.  I'm done with the poor me pity party.

Gotta wipe off the tears and make my guys dinner.

I'm going home soon, damnit.  

I need to replenish my soul.