I've been holding back the past couple days because I had to take a fast trip into NYC on Monday to connect with the lovely Kate Snow on a piece for the Today Show. This really just came out of nowhere as does every really cool opportunity I get the chance to encounter. Granted, this is what I spent the last 20 years of my career in - radio/tv - but those sporadic opportunities to do tv while doing my 'real job' as a mom to Boston & Hudson always leaves me inspired and wanting more.
I have to tell you - I was extremely nervous with what they were actually going to air and what was going to be cut out after our very candid discussion about kids, other parents & discipline.
We sat in that room for at least an hour. It went by so fast - but the discussion had all four of us really opening up about our personal lives and our personal opinions regarding parenting.
I for one, wasn't exactly the smartest person in the room. ((HA. I KNOW YOU'RE TOTALLY SHOCKED, RIGHT?) It's been interesting over the years to see how I've gone from interview-er to interview-ee. That's not a bad thing - it's just a transition for anyone who is use to being on the 'other side'. Before, I'd dive in to the conversation focused on the guests. Not me. And now, they wanted to know more about me? And not just about me - about my parenting skills.
Ohhhhh boy. I hopped on that train on Monday night with the fear that I was going to get a tongue lashing from anyone I know. I'm totally giving myself away here, aren't I? I mean - if I didn't tell you that I TALKED to much - you'd have no clue, right?
I gotta stop calling myself out. I guess because I've done so many things that I'm never sure what way they spin things. It's for ratings, I get it. Totally get it. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to find my foot in my mouth as I walk out the door, right?
So, just to give you a quick bit on the inside story of that. I candidly discussed my childhood. And we all really felt that parenting today is a totally different experience than it was when we were kids. It was more of a norm that parents whipped or discipline us with aggression. For me, I can tell you my mama was a wonderful mom. My biggest cheerleader. But if you crossed that woman? Shew. You betta grab your behind cause she's coming for it. She enjoyed breaking branches off trees and chasing me with it, only after she PEELED them and exposed the GREEN of course.
Naw. Not scarred about that one. I was ONLY trying to learn how to ride a bike when she chased me down the road on a bike swinging that stick to make a stink on my legs. I did learn how to ride a bike that day. However, I don't think I sat down from the sore bum for another week after that.
Yeah, I know that the topic is 'Would you let another parent discipline your child?" Not so much, were YOU disciplined as a kid by your parents. But don't we all as adults do what our parents did?
Is it ok to let another parent discipline my child? My answer to that is yes. I would. But if anyone wants to lay a hand on my kid - you better be prepared for a hard core investigation done by me. Have I personally ever hit my kids? Not Hudson. But I did lose my temper on Boston once. As he was just so happening to hop in the shower. I gave him a whack on the butt. Did he cry? No. He did what I did when I was a kid. "ha ha - that didn't hurt mom!' Ok dude. So, I'll only do what my mother did when I was a kid. Get more mad and want to slap even harder!
But, I have had enough classes in DBT to take my anger and redirect it into something more powerful as a message. Sadly, I can't even tell you what I did. I just don't remember. But I can tell you that was the beginning of a different personality for Boston. It may not have been the beginning - but it sure had to have started somewhere around there. Because I can tell you there were numerous occasions that I did everything I could to not lose my temper when he said things like 'I hate my life. It's so boring... yada yada." I realized that a big chunk of that behavior either came from other kids or something he watched because I can assure you I would have and never have talked to my mother that way!
He's in 1st grade. There is a sense of arrogance, 'I don't have to follow rules' to him that is extremely alarming. But sometime later and many hours of crying to girlfriends that I'm raising the spawn of satan, I've accepted the fact that this feeling is normal. The reactions are normal. The anger, frustration and desire to ship him off to a 3rd world country so he can REALLY see how bad his life could be. Yeah. It's there. Trust me. I want to take him around to see how his life could be. But, that's for another day.
Today? It's about TODAY.
So, I come to you with the parenting delimma... What would you do?