My Dear Hudson


Why yes.  I am a blogger still. 

I know I've kind of fallen off the face of the Earth when it comes to telling my real life mom story.  Heck...what's heartbreaking is that my BABY is almost 11 months old.  Which is a month from a ONE YEAR OLD.  I can't believe it.  The time went so fast. 

I swear it feels like I just had him yesterday.  

It's such a breathe of fresh air this time around.  I mean, if you know me you know I had no idea what kind of changes were in store. 

I couldn't take all the things that were happening in my life plus being unemployed and alone at the same time.  All the outside variables are really what took away from my oldests childhood.  

Bless his heart.  Boston, my now 5 1/2 year old is one of the sweetest, kindest, lovingest kids I've ever met in my entire life.  He's amazing.  

And the thought that I have a #2 that is almost a year old?  Slow down time...

So.. instead of sharing the negative part of my experience and story of motherhood... I want to share the amazing & good side.  

You see... I can close my eyes and just imagine.  Imagine being in the hospital after having Hudson.  I close my eyes and I can see the past year as if it all happened this morning.  

And I have to tell you... There is one thing about this past year that I love the most. 

I embraced every second of this baby.  EVERY SINGLE SECOND.  

I didn't take anything for granted.  I knew that this time of his little life was going to go by so fast.  This little life was growing as fast as I could blink an eye.  This little life would soon be the 5 year old big kid with an answer to everything.

I look at him and everyday I always say the same thing.

"Hudson...I hope you have a good life, little man."

Cause I do.  I truly want nothing more than for him to own the world.  To do well in school.  To be liked by his peers, to have goals and aspirations.  To love and be loved.  To treat women with respect & to cherish and honor his relationships with important people in his life.

I guess I can honestly tell you that I don't think he thinks about that at all.  Ahem.  I think he just wants his diaper changed and food in his mouth and he's a happy baby. 

Speaking of happy.... this little dude never cries.  Not even once.  Ever.  Well, only when he sees his bottle somewhere and he starts freaking for milk.  Otherwise... it's all smiles.  

There is just something really powerful about this kid.  Either those blue eyes... or his gorgeous blonde hair... or his heart.  Yep.  I can already assure you his heart is going to be just like his big brothers.

Have you ever seen more beautiful eyes?  

Me either.  They are the gateway to his soul. 

To my Dear Hudson,

You do so many wonderful things in your short little life.  You love to have me sing You Are My Sunshine and play Three Little Piggies.  Peek a boo & Baby Einstein are your favorite.  Your little feet are so ticklish.  You love your dog, Rocky and he loves you finally! ( was a little rough in the beginning.  But now he gets it!)  Hudson, when your big brother walks into the room you think he hung the world.  You adore Boston.  

There are so many things about you little guy that just melts my heart.  One of my favorites is the way you grab your covers when you're tired.  You rub them on your cheek and you start to fade away.  And then eventually you really do fall asleep.  Everytime I rock you to sleep in the rocker you cling to me for security.  I love it so much.  Words can't even describe how warm my heart is.  

God has given me such a blessing and full of so much grace and gratitude.  Thank you little love for choosing me to be your mama.  

xoxo - Love you.