Slow Down Life

Somedays I often wonder why does it have to go so fast?

Here I am.  ONE DAY before my sons 5th birthday.

Eh.  Anyone know where the time has gone???

I mean. Really. It was JUST YESTERDAY that Boston turned ONE.  Then TWO.  Then THREE.  Then FOUR.

I now have a 3 month old named Hudson.  

2nd BirthdayAnd an almost 5 year old named Boston. (Within about 24 hours to be exact.)

I break out in hives thinking about the past 5 years.  Sooooo much has happened.  Both good...and really bad.

But whats best of all is that I have this precious ALMOST 5 year old. Who is going to KINDERGARTEN in the fall!?!?!

Dear Lord.  Someone bring me my walker.

That picture was the day we brought Boston home from the hospital.  Look at my eyes.

I had tears in them.  Tears of pain (hello c-section) and tears of joy (OMG-THEY LET ME KEEP THIS THING).

I look at those eyes and that baby face now?

And I have tears of sadness.

And Joy.  And Pain.  Guilt.  Happiness.  So many tears of everything.

3rd BirthdayI look in those eyes.  And wish I knew then what I know now. 

There are so many things in the past 5 years I would change.  

Yet I don't know if I'd be who I am today if some of those things didn't happen.

If I had a chance to talk to my old self...then...this 30 year old new mom.... you know what I'd tell her?

Take the meds.  Look into that babies eyes often.  Don't cry when he cries.  Believe the people that tell you time goes so quickly.  Don't drink so much.  Don't be so angry at your husband...he's only trying to work hard to provide for his family.  Don't freak out when you aren't working.  Embrace the time and many would die to be in your shoes and get to be home with their babies.  Don't spend so much money on stupid things because you're bored.  Don't doubt your ability to be a mother so much.  Don't cry so much.  Take the meds.  See a therapist when you aren't feeling right.  Postpartum depression is real.  Kiss that baby.  Read to him.  Play with him in the bathtub.  Cry when he cries.  Sing when he sings.  Love when he loves.

4th BirthdayAnd always stop when you're in a moment.  Breathe.  Embrace.  Love.  Slow Down Life.

I'm so glad I figured it out this time around and loving every second of Hudson.

The good news?  This blog has the great moments all captured in time.  I can't wait till my grandkids get to see them someday.

Time to take grab my dentures and drink my metamucil. I'm so old now ya know.

PARTY TIME TOMORROW!   I can't wait to capture the fun and share with you here.

Slow Down Life.