The Art of Delivering a Baby
Often when people look at art they think a certain way about it. They love it. Hate it. Question the validity of it.
When I think of Art I think of no rules.
Maybe because I'm not an artist and there are times I'll like at something and go 'huh-what on Earth is that?'
But really. The art of delivering a baby isn't much different than creating a sculpture or painting on canvas.
Both require the use of your hands. Both are an expression of the person creating it.
And really, both have been around since the beginning of time.
I just had a baby. Like 2 days ago. And I can honestly tell you WHOA....this time was a walk in the park compared to the first.
I know why too. And I'm proud of myself with it.
I had no expectations this time.
The first time I had so many opinions thrown at me that by the time I gave birth NOTHING went as planned and it set me up for total failure for the next few years.
I think as a society we are all to judgemental on how other people decide to live their lives.
Although it was five years ago, I remember it just like it was yesterday. It all really started when I told someone in my family that I was pregnant and the first things out of their mouth was 'It's not going to be about Joey anymore!'
As I look back on that comment, I don't really fault the person for saying it. Because obviously it has stuck with me since they said it both in a good and bad way. I understand why they said it - because I was all about my career and success leading up to the very point I got pregnant and they wanted to give me a heads up that everything is going to change. But on the other side, their comment was condescending and created this 'uh-oh' false sense of hope and the constant struggle with the 'I can't fail at this' factor.
Fast forward almost 5 years....and yes..there were many failures. But there were also many lessons along the way.
As I sit in this ugly as hell hospital gown which by the way has the funniest story about it (I stood up last night when my son was visiting and my 5 year old said 'Mommy, why do you have a net on your butt?' Ahhhh out the mouth of babes. I tried so hard not to laugh cause the incisions and giggles don't go well together-but it was hysterical. And anyone who's had a baby knows about the 'net-underwear' they make you wear.) I find myself feeling so alive this time. So refreshed. And so TOTALLY ok about things diverting off plan.
You see, Tuesday night - I got up to go to the bathroom and felt a 'pop' and realized - my water just broke. I went into the bathroom to be sure before I started waking up my house and yes-it broke all right. (To be female, I tell ya. Nothing like a stream of water running down your leg!! haha)
I woke up my husband gently - and the rush began.
I started to allow thoughts to slip in that OH NO, TTHIS BABY WASN'T SCHEDULED TILL THE 26TH!! What to do? I was suppose to have a blow out and my nails done on the 25th-I have 20 pounds of laundry in the dryer...the babies room wasn't set up.... the next day I was booked to get my maternity pics taken...I hadn't gotten all my work caught up....
Then Boston walked up to me - right before my husband took him to a friends house so we could hit the hospital and he said something to me that changed my entire thoughts. He said 'Mommy, you're great at this. Remember when I get upset and you tell me to take a deep breath, everything is going to be ok?' I just looked at him with my jaw on the ground.
Yes. That same child who brought attention to my netted butt 48 hours later also calmed me better than any adult could have ever done.
And from then on out...I realized and reminded myself - there are no rules in the art of delivering a baby.
No matter how much the breastfeeding nazis or the - hardcore - in your face judgemental asshats that come at you with THEIR opinions and the way THEY think you should be living your life....
There are no rules in the art of delivering a baby.
When my son was born, I freaked when I ended in an emergency c-section the first time because my older sister and sister in law both had 5 babies between them completely natural. They didn't care what I ended up doing other than having a healthy baby - but I was so worried about what they would think - it just consumed me. Here as there was a chance that my baby was in distress - I was more worried about what others would think of me??? Pathetic, I know. Then when I couldn't breastfeed because my already grossly overweight from pregnancy body wouldn't produce breastmilk to feed my baby...I allowed the 'why aren't you breastfeeding/breast is best/ blah blah bullshit' consume me even more.
I can't even begin to tell you what I failure I felt like and I hadn't even left the hospital yet.
Not this time. And it feels A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.
YEP. I got a c-section. Lived through having a needle shoved in my back. Yep, the baby isn't taking to my tiny, limp, boring boobs like he is a bottle...but I'm ok with that.
Because just like in art-no two creations are the same.
I really wish so many first time moms wouldn't be so hard on themselves. And I wish even more that others would stop the judgemental bs and just let people LIVE their own story without doing what they can to manufacture others into THEIR way of artmaking.
- Works produced by such skill and imagination.