This has probably been the worst week of my own life..

All because I was trying to be honest about something that has bothered me for nearly 10 years.

It makes my heart scream.

Why do people live in life making others feel guilty about their decisions?

Who does that?

I'm not perfect. Nor do I play that I am.

But don't fault me for the way I was raised.

I've been so damn unproductive.  

I just don't care. 

I cry.


This 'little website' has saved my life.  

Cause I have hidden behind a computer screen and kept those awful feelings to myself.

And one time when I try to bring those feelings to the surface?

I'm the biggest country asshole on the planet.

My heart is so raw right now. 

I'm so tired of always being the 'bad guy' in my life.

I didn't ask for this.  I didn't ask to ache this bad.

It's just not fair.

And I'll probably get reamed tonite for opening up right now.

I just can't take the ugliness anymore.  That's all.

I'm filled with so many imperfections....

And I'm ok with that.


I tell ya.  My dog is my HERO.  That hairy beast just knows when I'm hurting.  All he wants to do is crawl in my lap.  

Good thing he likes country music too.  Cause CMT has been my best friend.  Now as long as my dog don't run off with my husband we'll be in good shape.