Damn You Cancer


There are often times that I support a cause...and I don't really see how things go on the 'inside' of a person.

Or there are times when I hear of someone who has cancer.  And yet I never really think about other than the 'you're in my prayers'.  

Or in some cases.  I'll get a sense of sadness.  Because of someone lost to cancer.

But I've honestly never really THOUGHT about what cancer looks like.

Does that make sense?  

Sorry.  I know it sounds so vague.  Mainly cause it really is. 

But today I can honestly say....I've really seen cancer.

Yesterday, a friend went in for a double mastectomee.  

Heck. I can't even spell it right.


This past Friday night Boston and I went over to her house for a little play date.  (Her daughter and my son are both in the same preschool class.)

I've known her for a few years...but I've gotten to know her much better in the past few months.

So, Friday night while we were hanging out she told me more about the procedure.  

I swear, I'm as naive as they come.  Or ignorant.  You decide.

I mean, I know that it of course is a major surgery.  And that it affects a woman in more than just aestheticly. 

But until I heard her strength....and about the procedure she was about to endure....

I had no idea how ugly and evil cancer really is.

I had envisions of what I've seen on TV like in the plastic surgery shows.  You know how they do breast augmentations....and...stuff.

But I had absolutely NO IDEA the real sight of cancer.

Until I googled images.

And I about threw up.

My heart sank and my mouth watered when I saw what I saw.  

I saw images of breasts that were fully engulfed in cancer.  

The inverted nipples.  The inflammation.  The lesions.

The darkness.

The pain.

It honestly had me in tears.  Wanting to beat myself up for being so naive and idiotic for thinking that this cancer thing was just on the inside.  That it wasn't noticeable.  

So here I am.  With 65 degree weather.  Sunshine.  

Complaining about how bloated and thinking 'I shouldn't have just eaten that for lunch' just slapped me in the face.

Hello reality.  Thanks for the wake up call.