Here I am.

Sitting outside my room on my birthday.

I have sooo much to share with you about my reflective weekend.  I've been in Cape May since Thursday after getting an awesoem opportunity to experience Congress Hall and the Cape Resorts Group.

I have a series of greatness i want to share with you about my stay...but right now... I just want to reflect. 

Do you mind?  =)

So my husband and son went to Chicago for the weekend.  Since I was going to be here for a 'mom only' event, I suggested they get away too.

I've really had an awesome time.  The group left yesterday morning and I stuck around.  Most people would hate being on 'vacation' by themselves....but I've loved it.  (Although I will admit that I really missed them last night.)

I've had so much time to reflect. And enjoy the wonderful parts of my life.

Today, I'm 34 years old.  I don't know about you, but after myson was born-my birthdays totally disappeared.  They just didn't do anything for me.  Mainly because I had just thrown parties for Boston that trump anything I've ever done, really.

This morning I woke up to 10,000 dings on my phone from where people were leaving me messages on facebook wishing me happy birthday.  That is one REALLY awesome feature facebook has.  And I'm grateful for it.  But I'm also a bit annoyed.  Mainly cause the woman sitting next to me here is annoyed.  Cause my phone WILL NOT STOP DINGING!!! hahaha.  I guess I could change my preferences.  I'll try that.

Upon awakening, I sat outside here and have smelled the glorious sea air.

I don't know if everyone is like this...but for me...I could be in the worst mood in the world.  But as soon as I set my eyes on a beach-the giddiness kicks in.  The warm feeling in my heart fills my body. 

And I'm in another world.

I've pretty much been there for 4 days now.  And TOTALLY loving it.

I swear.  I could LIVE here.  Cape May has such a wonderful vibe to it.  Lots of great memories here. 

This morning, I saw on facebook that my had posted something about someone dying.  And it made my heart sink.  Cause I knew who she was talking about.  She said she didn't tell me cause she didn't want to ruin my weekend.

It made me sad.  The person was a friend of the family who as a kid we use to camp with all the time.  Him and his wife couldn't have children.  I don't want to go into to much detail....mainly because I don't want to disrespect their legacy with a blog post. 

But it really made me think about my life.

And how short it is.

If you've been my blogging friend, you've seen me write on here the ups and downs if the past few years.  The PPD that turmoiled my happiness.  The depression that overtook my joy.

Then this super cute couple sat down next to me.  And I talked to them for about an hour.  They were both in their late 50s, I'm guessing.  The man was so super adorable and giddy about the woman.  During our conversation, I learned so much about them.  They're from Lancaster....he use to come here for years...and 'they' just got here yesterday.  Turns out, his wife died about 18 months ago from rectal cancer.  She was suppose to live a long time-then in the end-they gave her a couple weeks.  He said she was sick for a year. 

We started talking about life.  The shortness of it.  And how people grieve in different ways.

They had been married for 40 years.  Met as teenagers in Philadelphia.

I talked about the family friend who died...and he shared his grief on losing his wife.  They had 2 kids in thier 30s...never been married & no kids.

I can't help but think how lucky I am. 

I know the past few years I have fought this new life with tooth and nail.  Fought it for so many reasons.  The changes were so drastic that I was refusing to accept them without a 'poor me' attitude.

But husband of 4 years have a great marriage.  And an unbelievably amazing child.

And I'm only 34.

The thought of haivng to go home gives me anxiety.  I"m excited to see my boys and even Rocky..but I know the traffic is going to be brutal.

One thing is for sure.... I'm going to embrace it.  Because that's life.

Stop and smell the fresh air today.  Cause you might not have it tomorrow.