My Story. My Way.
Part of me feels relieved...but the other part of me is scared.
Fearful of what people are going to think of me.
You see...this 'little ole blog' of mine has been around, well... since the start of my life as a mom.
And if you've been around since then... you've seen me cry. Laugh. Run. Blame. Shamed.
Hurt... all with the good sprinkled in. And I'm proud to say... the last 6 months I have proudly displayed way more good than bad. Because my life is in a better place. And I'm proud of myself again.
I started this blog because I needed an outlet. I needed a place where I could just let my fingers spell out the pain and loneliness I had hidden so deep inside.
I was a new mom. Unemployed. Married to a workaholic. In a new city. No family near. No friends with kids.
Oh heck. Let's be honest.
I was a ROYAL basket case.
Begging for someone to love me. For someone to understand what I was going through.
Yeah. I faked it. A LOT. Mainly because of the naysayers telling me to 'muzzle it'.
When in reality they were more worried about what people thought of them....and the image I was portraying them to be.
But I'm really not sure I can blame them.
So...with all that being said. I want to share with you something super personal.
So personal that it might give you some insight about my self destruction.
It's about the deepest. Darkest. Most vulnerable time in my life.
Not because I'm looking for a pity party. But because I'm at peace about it.
And I know I'm not a bad mom. I'm not a bad person.
So with ALL that being said. (Thank goodness I didn't promise a 'long story short' special. ha)
I was asked by Katherine Stone, an amazing advocate for Postpartum and maternal mental health to share my story.
And after an hour long conversation with her at lunch in Nashville, Tn at my 1st blog conference..
I said 'yes'.
Because I know there are others like me.
And maybe it's you. And maybe you'll feel a connection with me.
And I sure hope you reach out to me if you do.
I'll drop everything (except if it's in the middle of a dirty diaper change!!!!) to try and help you.
Understanding and accepting that it's not your fault is the 1st step.
It's a chemical issue. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Nothing to isolate over. (Although, I can assure you everyone I know will tell you that I crawled into a hole. I was the best isolator in the world!!!!)
Sunday is Mother's Day. And every hour - another story is being shared. And I'm honored to be apart of a some of the biggest & most successful 'mom bloggers' in the world.
And we all have something in common.
It has nothing to do with our success as a blogger. Or as a career woman.
It's that we are woman. Mothers'. United by an awful illness.
One that only 15% of moms get the help they need.
Please, if you're a new mom. A seasoned mom. Or worried to death over a mom.... take some time Sunday and check out Postpartum Progress.
This Sunday I'll be sharing words of HOPE for pregnant & new moms w/ #PPD as part of the #momsdayrally on @postpartumprogr. Join us!