Keeping it Real.

I just need to type.  And talk. Or both. Or neither. 

I sit here with my eyes closed listening to this damn fly buzzing around my head.

And I can't help but wonder...what would life be like as a fly?

Ew.  Grossed Out.  Immediately.  The thought of living life landing on a pile of poop?

Yeah.  That made me not want to get ice cream like I have been pondering all day long.

Sometimes...especially lately.. I feel like I've been neglecting this part of my blog.  The part where I'm real.

Maybe because I'm trying to shield myself.  Maybe I've been too busy.  Maybe I just have been trying to hold back my inner emotions....to hide my real life insanities.  I really just have so much to say...so much to ask..but yet...so much on the line.... wow.  This is the first time...I've shut myself up online. 

Yeah.  It's been THAT bad.  Or good.  Depends on whether I want to allow myself to be 'half empty or half full'.....  I wish I could spill the beans....It would surely be cheaper and more productive than therapy, that's for sure.

Oh to be a fly on the wall in my house this past week.

The gossip a fly would get?  Yeah.  That's a total understatement.

That fly would blow up with the overflow of gossip and stories they'd have. Kaboom.

You know what's morbidly fun?  Watching my dog chase after the flies and eat them.  It's actually pretty hysterical....and helps out on our house flyswatting.  That's sooo gross anyway.  Splattering a fly on a window because they are gross and annoying?  Ew.  But then again...when you think about it.  You sure wouldn't want that fly on the wall that has been through your latest drama to gossip about it would you?

Splat that hairy beast.  ((Is that even a word???))

I think my brain scared him...cause he's not buzzing around my head anymore.

My poor kid.  He's going to grow up and read these and think "What the hell kind of drugs was my mom on?!?!?!?!"  So let's set the record straight.  I'm not on drugs, Boston.  You're just born to a nutcase.  Sorry, kid.  That part of life is hereditary.  You're predetermined.

I'm making myself crack up right now.  Cause I totally don't make any sense! hahahaha

Oh well.

It sure was fun keeping it real.

What weird things do you think about when you are in silence and your mind is wandering?  Come on - don't be shy!  We all think strange things once in a while!?  **chirp chirp chirp** Ok.  Now I feel alone.  Guess I'll go back to...uh.. well... um... hmm.  To be that fly on the wall.

xoxox - Joey

joey fortman

Putting the TMI in Motherhood with #RealMomProblems from funny & fantastic to everything in between! Joey Fortman has been seen on Today Show, Good Morning America, Fox & Friends and more!