Love him. Biz's Beat of the Day rocks.
I got myself and Boston ready and headed out the door. We went to the radio station where I use to work (full-time) for 2 separate stations.... Now 97.5 & Ben FM.
My friend Bill (who is the production director) said I could use his studio for the interview. I was thrilled cause sometimes...I like to utilize the skills I gained from the 15 years in the radio biz. Or... not so much.
You see..when I got there-I went into his studio with Boston and about threw up. I was already running late and those great skills I gained?!?! Not so much. If you've ever been into a radio station-you know there are lots and lots of buttons. I know this might sound bad...but since he wasn't there yet-I didn't want to push the wrong buttons. I mean... sadly, the last few jobs I've had - I didn't have to 'push' buttons in a production studio. (I did in my on-air studio-but not production). So.. in fear that I would screw something up..I opted not to do anything.
So I missed the interview.
I was so bummed with myself. i mean...since it was the first time in what.. a YEAR that I had the opportunity to be in a studio and do something. Not to mention.. I really wanted to chat with Biz. I called the awesome PR person who was conducting the interviews and she put me in the open spot set a bit later in the hour.
I ran to my husband's station and made him throw me in his studio. He did. I did the interview...all was good.
Well... sort of.
You see... being in that building is so bitter sweet for me. Everyone is always so kind to me and happy to see me..not to mention most hadn't seen Boston in forever and he's quite a little 'person' now.
Yet, when I go there...I always feel like Cinderella AFTER the ball. You know the story... she gets invited to the ball... she's on top of the world... then when the clock strikes midnight.. it's all over for her. She's back into grubby old clothes and has a simple boring life.
Waiting patiently for her prince to return her glass slipper... so she can live happily ever after.
Anyway..... I found myself feeling down on the way out. I was suppose to go back and see my girlfriend when we were done... but my husband was seriously throwing me out the door trying to get me out cause Boston was misbehaving & well...it was a place of work... it made my heart hurt. You see... a year ago, I was on Now 97.5-and if you've been following my blog-you know that my station flipped formats and became...AHEM..the only FM sports station in town. You know... 97.5 The Fanatic. AHEM....my HUSBAND'S station.
He deserved it..and I knew the station I was on wasn't doing well in ratings...but I can't tell you a lie and say that being back in that gorgeous brand new studio built for the station I was on... didn't bring a sadness in my heart. That whole end of the building was completely brand new when I worked there... and now.. so was everything about it.
I miss that building. I miss those people. I miss those smiles. I miss the pressure of success. I miss interacting with listeners. I miss meeting listeners. I miss interviewing awesome musicians and celebs. I miss playing fantastic music-jamming out in the studio. I miss interacting with callers. I miss hosting events. I miss the rush of hitting a post or having an unbelievable break.
I miss having a radio station that I called 'home'.
So as I drove home... with my little dude... I found myself crying in the car. Hard.
Then as I was checking my email (I know, don't say it-I was at a RED LIGHT.) my Philly Mom Blogger friend Alyssa...whom I've never met in person.. sent me this email:
I am supposed to pick 12 women who have touched my life online (never met) and who I think might participate. I think that if this group of women were ever to be in a room together, there is nothing that would be impossible. I hope I chose the right twelve. May my hugs, love, gestures and communications remind you how special you are. Remember to make a wish before you read the quotation. That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. Just send this to 12 women including me and let me know what happens on the fourth day. Try not to break this, please. Did you make a wish yet?
Quotation: 'May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us'.
It's funny how things work out in the end. How when I really feel the cold and sadness in my heart - something out of the blue comes along to remind me...that being Boston's mom...and allowing my husband to swim in his success while putting my career on the backburner is the right thing to do.