Today is Thursday...and yet another week flying by.
This morning when I got up at 4am... I couldn't go back to sleep.
Do you ever just wake up and have thoughts running through your head like a marathon?
((ALARM GOES OFF HERE))
Hubby's alarm goes off 10 times before he gets up. I don't know how he just goes back to sleep in between. Drives me bonkers!
I remember when my alarm use to go off at 3am every morning...
And I would JUMP out of bed. Never hitting snooze.
Cause I loved where I was heading.
I loved being on the radio and helping everyone to get their days started.
I loved having that 'purpose'.
We've been in Philly... gosh.. it will be 3 years this summer.
And I've struggled with finding that 'purpose'.. Every. Single. Day.
I hate it. I hate that I question myself so much. I hate it that my family has to deal with my insanities day to day.
Thank goodness my hubby says he's committed to me. Cause I would have HAD me committed a long time ago!
I know... you don't have to remind me - My purpose is to be Boston's Mom. To make sure my child is safe, fed, and well taken care of.
I assure you.. I do that.
I know that.
But, I gotta admit. I definitely need to find another purpose to go hand in hand with being Boston's Mom.
I feel like everything I've tried to do since being a "Philadelphian" has fallen out and hit the dirt.
Recently, I felt that I truly found something that was a great answer to my 'purpose'.
But then I found that I have to be censored doing that.
Obviously, when I was on the radio the FCC had me censored..as did my employers.
But yet... I was still allowed to 'be Joey'.
That's what I love about this blog. Whether or not any single person reads it-doesn't matter to me.
But I know you read it... cause you send me great tweets or a message on facebook reminding me that I'm not alone.
But...I've gotten some backlash because of this blog. Not from one... but a good handful.
Cause I'm 'saying too much'. Cause I might 'hurt the brand'. Cause I might 'jeapordize relationships'.
Can I just tell you...
That PISSES me off.
That's like me telling my kid not to do something... makes him want to do it 10 TIMES more and with a SMILE on his face!!! (And yes-I've learned that when I've told him 1,000 times NOT to run into the glass doors!!!!)
I'm a driven person.
I just have to figure out....
What is my Purpose Driven Life.