My poor Bubba.

Boston has been a Mr. Whiney Butt for a couple nights.. keeping me up ALL night (as his dad snores with one eye open so he can play mr. asleep when "B" wails...)

Anyway.  Today was kind of a rough day.

Didn't get any work done... my poor guy has pink eye. 

We went to the bookstore for story time... played with the 'choo choo' there..

He was so good!  I said 'it's time to go. Put the choo choo's back so other boys and girls can  play with them.'

And he did... then followed me out the store. 

He's getting to be such a big boy.  I carried him out of the store and he said 'Walk Mama'.  So I let him walk.. holding my hand in the street of course.

There are some days that I really wish I could go back in time. 

I wish I could go back to the days when I was bitter and unhappy because I had to give up my career for him.

I wish I could go back so i could slap myself.

Hard.

I know.. it was part of the healing process of what was going on in my life... but I really wish I would have embraced him more.  I was jealous of him.  I thought everything I worked towards in my life.. was gone because of him..when really it wasn't.  it wasn't his fault. He just wanted his momma to be happy.  To not cry anymore.  He depended on me.  

I wish I would have looked at him knowing what I know now.

He grows up so fast.  And I'll never get this time with him again.

I love my sweet 'B'.  He's so good to his Mama.

Tonite after his bath, I put him in his crib with all his 'friends'.  One of his friends says the 'Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep' prayer... and at the end when it said "Amen".. Boston said "Amen". 

Then looked at me and said "Mama?" I said the usual "Yes dear."  He pointed to his face and said "Eye".

I love you too Baby.... Sweet Dreams.

And today was a day that I stopped.. and embraced my little man.

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