Oh Man.

Do you ever just wake up and can't sleep? 

Yeah.  It happens to me often.  This one, self imposed.  So I'm getting ready to start Body For Life on Monday with my friend Rachel.  Her and I use to be serious beer drinking Karaoke buddies when I lived in St. Louis.  Wow.  That was such a long time ago.  2000, I believe.  9 years ago?  My how time flies. 

Anyway.  We reconnected about a year ago.  Rach, how did I find you anyway?  I was trying to figure that out last night.  I have to say I think I googled her. ha.

That's what is really cool about the internet. 

Even though, I live in Philly now... and have moved away from so many friends... I feel I have more now than ever.  Likely cause of Facebook.  I have reconnected with so many.  It's kinda cool when you really think about it. 

Even my Mom is on it!  She's a bigger pro on twitter than I am.  She seems to have an obsession with Ashton Kutcher's antics on twitter.  Then again........ who doesn't.  I think Ashton has a serious addicition too!

Ok.. back to Rachel and Body for life. 

I'm bloated.  Yesterday, I decided to go get pizza cause Monday is a 'changing day in my life'.  Ha.  Yeah, you can call me Dr. Phil. 

I got Vino's.  It's a place in our neighborhood that only takes cash... so you know it's a greasy goodness!

Or it was... until now.  I HATE HEARTBURN!!  Seriously.  I NEVER had it... Until I got pregnant.  No.. I'm not pregnant, but I continue to have nasty heartburn.  This one is so self imposed.

I think, really, it all is self imposed.  When I was 'healthy'  I never ate this crap!!!  EVER!  You would have NEVER seen me eating pizza!!!  I was so on a mission.  Now.. I'm married with a kid and a dog.

But it shouldn't be that way.  I should love being healthy.

And I'm going to find that person again. 

I mean seriously... how did I lose 60 pounds and keep it off for 9 years???  Wait.  It was more like 7 years. 

How did I do that, anyway? 

Oh yeah.    I ate good... and I exercised.

Dangit.

Can you tell I'm writing as I get my thoughts?

I hate heartburn.

Dear Heartburn:

You are not allowed to be in my life.  You are a sign that I am an unhealthy blob.  You stink and your momma dresses you funny.  There I said it.  I hope you die.  Wow.  That was not cool, I know.  But I meant it.

May you and I never meet again.

Na Na Na Na Boo Boo.

Love,

Me

 

That felt good.  Maybe I should do that more often.  Talk to Unhealthyness straight in the face.  Tell them they stink and that I hate them and that I never want to see them again.

I bet that would work. 

Ok.  So here is to being healthy.  And can I ask you a favor???

HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE!!!!!!!!!!

Muah.

Love,

Thin and Healthy Joey.

Bring It.

(Wow... my heartburn is gone... i like this new me.)

joey fortman

Putting the TMI in Motherhood with #RealMomProblems from funny & fantastic to everything in between! Joey Fortman has been seen on Today Show, Good Morning America, Fox & Friends and more!